MY MOM ANN
The phone rings; it’s 7:00 am, I’m still groggy from sleep. A voice on the other end introduces themselves as nurse so and so, from the hospital. My mother has just passed away. A call I was not unexpecting, but it still hits you like a hammer. I immediately call my sister Susan who is already at work and let her know. I can still feel the vibration of her wailing, the guttural, primal cry of a wounded soul. Susan has just lost her best friend. It’s time to get up to the hospital and make arrangements. It’s December 20th, three days before our family’s flight to Tokyo.
One of my often used sayings is everything in life has a beginning a middle and an end. While I wasn’t there for my mother’s beginning, I can safely say I was certainly there for much of the middle and most definitely at the end.
This visual story is an accounting of the final weeks of my mother Ann’s life. During the first week of December, she suffered a devestating stroke that left her unable to speak and unable to swallow. At the time, we were hopeful it was just a minor setback, perhaps another urinary tract infection, perhaps something else not too serious. We didn’t realize that the stroke she suffered and the next few weeks would be her end story.
As I write this it’s now approaching May, over four months since those early days in December. Many of the images I took I’m not really comfortable in sharing. Nor do I think, if my mother was alive, she would want to be remembered in that way. To honour her and her memory, these images I hope will give you visual cues to what we experienced. It was a brutally difficult time for our all of us. My mother was the beloved matriarch of our clan and knowing that we would never have another chat, another laugh, another hug was and still is a painful thought.
The images take us from the early days when my mom was still alert and seemingly aware of her surroundings to the day of her passing on December 20, 2023.
Besides our family members, my mom had the constant and loving care from her primary caregivers Roxie and Margie, two people who are heroes in my book. And of course the many wonderful doctors and nurses and support staff at Cortellucci Vaughan Hospital.
As an epilogue, I can only say I hope that I have as many people surrounding me in my final days as my mother had. While there were many years where I can admit to us having our differences, I can also say that the final years, with her memory and health declining, were the most happy between us. They say that people with dementia can go one of two ways; they can become angry and bitter or they can become loving and caring. My mother was definitely in the latter camp. Her genuine joy in seeing us when we entered her apartment every Sunday was heartwarming. She expressed to us how important we were to her and how much she appreciated us being in her life. There was nothing that was left unsaid.
All of us, my wife Alice as well as our sons Maximilian and Solomon witnessed on a weekly basis the love of a kind, caring and grateful women. She was lovingly referred to by our sons as “The Bubinator”. I don’t think she was fond of that nickname but it definitely captured something of the iconic status she had in our family.
Jewish people say “May her memory be a blessing”. We were definitely blessed having such a loving person in our life. I hope the images speak for themselves and give you a sense of those weeks up at Cortellucci.
We made it to our flight to Tokyo. I kept reminding myself, it’s what my mom would have wanted. Thanks mom.
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Ann Kahn: 1929 - 2024
JAPAN - TOKYO - PART II
Ten days, and an earthquake later, we arrived back in Tokyo for the final few days of our trip. There were so many special moments of our second stay in Tokyo. Our ryokan, the Yuenbettai Daita was mere steps from the train station. I guess you could describe the Yuenbettai Daita as being a modern interpretation of a ryokan. It felt like a ryokan re-invented. The area (city) that it’s in is called Setagaya which quickly became my new favorite place in Japan. Coming from Toronto where developers rule the roost and seem to have only one priority and that’s to line their bank accounts, Setagaya is a community where the developers would actually want to live there. It’s urban design by really smart, talented people.
So onto the highlights. We had a super delicious pour over coffee experience on the first part of our Tokyo trip @binyacoffeeten but on the advise of my friend and official coffee aficionado Len, we found our way about 15 minutes from our ryokan to @bearpondespresso which I quickly found out, roasts and serves beans that are simply out of this world. I think we went there three days in a row to get our daily fix, each time buying more beans and trinkets to bring home. I can’t recommend them enough. The only thing missing was the owner, Katsu San was away during that week so we didn’t get to watch the master at work.
Another highlight of the trip was our time with Alice’s cousin Peter and his family. On our first day back in Tokyo Peter took us to a Harry Potter exhibition where according to Peter, there is very fresh and very reasonable sushi. It sounded just way too touristy for me, but when in Rome. So apparently other folks know about this particular spot. 2-1/2 hours later we finally sat down to eat and oh my, it was just outstanding. And so reasonably priced you can’t believe the value. For about ¥3,800 (about $38 CAD) I ate enough super fresh sushi to totally fill me up. And we got to watch Peter’s spectacular son Ken (nicknamed Natto Boy for a reason) wolf down enough natto to choke a horse. The kid’s amazing (and super cute).
On the last day and final hours of our stay in Tokyo (and Setagaya) we went back to Bear Pond for yet another hit of caffeine and wandered around the area looking for a quick lunch before the train ride to Haneda Airport. A few feet from our coffee spot we noticed a line was forming by a tiny shop. It was only 11:30 am. Our internet savvy sons looked the spot up and found out it was a Michelin rated hand pulled noodle shop. So we got in line which, not surprisingly moved along pretty briskly… it is a noodle shop after all. I think we all ordered hand pulled noodles with wontons (our family has a thing for wontons) and we were not disappointed. As far as last meals go, we definitely went out with a bang. It was simple and delicious. End of story.
To wrap this up, there’s really no way to include all of the fun things we did in Japan. I haven’t even described the Jazz Kissa’s (Jazz BigBoy being a highlight) or the record shopping at disc union - @discunionshinjukijazz. Nor the terrific omakaze dinner we had with our Japanese distributors for @uberlight. Not to mention the 15,000 + steps we did every day to explore this amazing country.
Sometimes after a long journey you feel exhausted, almost ready for another vacation. The exact opposite has happened after this trip. Japan was exactly the tonic that we all needed. We are already thinking about our next Japan adventure (hopefully without the earthquake drama). It might be time to start learning some Japanese. Until next time, Sayonara.
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TOKYO PART II IN COLOR
JAPAN - KANAZAWA
We arrived by bullet train in Kanazawa on December 30th, the plan was to spend New Year’s in the nice “quiet” setting of this smaller city. Alice had another surprise for me (the first being the K5 hotel in Tokyo with it’s in room stereo, turntable and records). As we walked into the Kaname Inn, greeting us in the lounge was a pair of Garrard 301 turntables (for DJ use), McIntosh amp and preamp and a set of Tannoy vintage loudspeakers. Oh and a wall of LP’s. Things were definitely looking up.
There were lots of sites worth exploring in Kanazawa, but I had the feeling that we were all interested in relaxing and not doing too much… winding down for the New Year. Getting a restaurant to eat on New Year’s eve was a bit dicey, but our hotel came through for us.
On New Year’s day, the plan was to go out for a very casual, lazy walk through the Kenrokuen Gardens and the famous Higashi Chaya Geisha District. On the walk back to our hotel, Alice’s iPhone alarm warning went off and a split second later we felt the ground under us shake with an intensity that was frightening. The buildings around us rattled, as did trees and pretty much everything else. I guess the whole event lasted not more than a minute. It felt much longer.
We found out later that the epicenter for the earthquake was in the Ishikawa prefecture (the same one Kanazawa is located in) a mere 116 km from where we were staying. Of course we were never in any real danger. Our friends and families back home needn’t have worried, but it was a very scary and intense event. The aftershocks were another new experience, having our fifth floor hotel room shake and sway was nerve racking to say the least.
Once things settled down, the next problem to solve was how the heck we were going to get back to Tokyo the next day. All trains going into and out of Kanazawa had been cancelled. Assuming the worse, Alice got online and booked us a flight out of Kanazawa to Tokyo on the first flight she could book which was three days later on the Friday.
While we were stewing with the prospect of spending two extra days in Kanazawa, we could see on the train systems mobile app that trains were supposedly resuming the day after (January 2nd) at 3:00 pm. We decided to go for it, dispatching Maximilian and Solomon to the train station to “scope out” the situation. While we were waiting to hear from them we packed up and checked out of the hotel. In a short while, they texted that the trains were resuming at 3:00 pm and they were in line, so we needed to get over there.
If they hadn’t gone three hours early and waited in line, we likely would have spent at least an extra day in Kanazawa. It all kind of worked out in the end. The reserved train seat we had that was cancelled was gone, but we were able to find four seats (we were second in line). The train was jam packed with people, literally like sardines for most of the four hours to Tokyo. This was a high speed bullet train but it felt more like the Slow Train To Oxmox, stopping at train stations along the way to pick up otherwise abandoned passengers. I’m not quite sure how so many people fit on that train but the passengers, mostly locals were all polite and taking it in stride. Alice cancelled the flight she had booked and other than the aggravation and slight delay, we were back on track for the final part of our journey… Tokyo Part 2.
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KANAZAWA IN COLOR
JAPAN - Nagano
The K5 hotel in Tokyo was a lovely modern oasis in the bustle of the big city. The hotel had all of the amenities one needed. The big surprise though, was an in room stereo complete with turntable and records. It’s located right across from the Tokyo Stock Exchange so fairly central and easy to get to.
On December 28th we took a bullet train to Nagano, then a shorter ride on a local train to our first ryokan in north Nagano. Complete with tatami mats on the floors and the requisite futon bed (although ours seemed to be made with memory foam), it certainly was a lot more on the rustic side, but still very nice. Jinpyokaku Honten - @jinpyokakuhonten was just a short walk from the main event, the famous snow monkeys, located at the base of Joshinetsu Kogen National Park.
We were warned about snow and icy conditions, but as luck would have it, neither were a factor. The walk was a couple of km’s up the winding mountain. It was quite lovely actually, a lot of tourists but it was very manageable. And the adorable snow monkeys didn’t disappoint, not to mention the guy dressed in a tiger outfit.
On the walk down back to our ryokan, a women in a stall to the side of the road was cooking sweet potatoes over an open fire. We stopped to taste the local apples as well as a very tender sweet potato.. it was the best thing I had eaten in a day where the ryokan had prepared us a breakfast feast. It was simple and delicious. Memorable in fact.
After our snow monkey adventure we took a walk into town and discovered the wide range of onten’s (steam baths) that are available to the locals and the tourists. Lots of skiing is done up here as well (Winter Olympics anyone?). We stopped for a light snack bought a few treats at a local shop and headed back to our ryokan for a hot bath in the natural springs and a rest before dinner.
We only stayed in Nagano for two nights but it was a restful respite from the busy start to our holiday in Tokyo. If we had more time, there are so many beautiful towns in this area. Definitely worth exploring on our next trip to Japan. And I’ll definitely be back for more of those sweet potatoes.
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NAGANO IN COLOR
Next up, Kanazawa…
A RENOVATION STORY
This is the story that didn’t want to be written.
We’ve been living back in our home since February 12, 2018. Yep, that’s almost two years ago. That’s far longer than the renovation itself, although it felt at least as long at times.
A lot has happened in the two years I should have posted this. Our house no longer feels like it’s a strangers. It’s now fully and completely a home. That transformation was awkward. It wasn’t binary as in one day it just suddenly felt like home. It was much more nuanced. In fact, I still find myself reaching for the light switch that’s no longer there. Still turning right when I need to turn left. Perhaps after twenty three years in one house that may never change. I’m hoping eventually my brain will adjust.
The stats are pretty straightforward. The plans started in earnest in the summer and fall of 2016. We moved out the first week in September 2017 (not coincidentally the week both our kids left home to be away at school) and we finally moved back home six months and eight temporary homes later. To no great surprise, we went dramatically over budget and move in was pushed back to accommodate the growing list of add ons.
Horrors? Yes we had a few. There’s no surprise like a renovation surprise. A completely new heating and ventilation system, water proofing all sides of the house (only to have it fail and flood the basement on the very first heavy water fall), new flooring on all three floors, plus the dozens of small upgrades that slowly tear away at your soul and provide the nuances that make any renovation memorable.
In the end, we endured living out of a duffle bag for half a year, the beloved (and humbling at how lucky we are to normally live so close to work) Toronto commuter traffic jams as we ambled our way to and from our temporary residences, countless heated and occasionally fiery discussions and the never ending (or so it seemed) weekend shopping expedition to replace everything we tore out and threw away.
Lessons learned? Boy that’s a tough one. The glib answer is to never, ever, ever do a renovation. No sane person would do this fully knowing what lies ahead. On the other hand, you can’t help but feel reborn when it’s all done. The sheer newness of everything is in fact completely rejuvenating.
My favourite room by the way by far is our new music room. This has become my sanctuary. It’s all coming together, we’re finally getting the stereo system completed, and the new area rug was taken from the third floor where it was too big and has found a new home beside the Eames chair. I can’t help but feel a sense of pride. We imagined it, we created it and now it’s there to enjoy.
Alice and I sat down the other night to listen to St. Peppers Lonely Hearts and Abbey Road on our new turntable, the lights were dim, a glass of decent red wine in hand and the romance of those ancient discs turning round and round. I was transported to being 18 years old all over again. Perhaps Alice was as well. This is now officially a home. Our home. There truly is no place like it.
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ANOTHER 4 HOUR BOAT TOUR
Yep, we went on (yet) another one of those cheesy 4 hour boat tours. Every time I do one of these, breathing noxious diesel fumes and watching Alice get sea sick, I swear to the heavens that this will be the last one.
A special thank you to Pat @laroquephotogram for helping with the curating and processing of these images.
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KANSAS CITY, MORE THAN JUST BBQ
Business or pleasure. The line sometimes blur for us when we’re in a city that’s known for its good food.
Flying in from Toronto where it’s been one of the coldest, wettest and miserable springs on record, we landed in Kansas City to 90ºF temperatures. It was feeling pretty tropical.
But what I noticed most on the first days was the quality of the light. It was like being in Portugal or Barcelona all over again. Man do I miss the sun living in grey Toronto.
My photo time was limited to the 10 minute walk to the convention centre and back to our hotel. The days would be spent working, but at night Alice and I ventured to several good to very good barbecue joints.
In Kansas City everyone you meet has an opinion on where the best barbecue is. We only had four nights but alas, after two substantial barbecue meals we were brisket and pork ribbed out (clearly, we are in the minor leagues of bbq).
Our stay was just too short to really get a handle on the food scene. But I can say the architecture and the vibe in the city was terrific. A visit to Knuckleheads capped off the five days watching my childhood favourite Burton Cummings.
I know they’ve got all kinds of violent crime issues in Kansas City but from a photography perspective, it’s a place I would gladly go back to. Free public transportation in the city, clean streets and stunning and well maintained old buildings. And of course there’s the barbecue.
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BABY ELLIOTT
It seems fitting that the first post on this new Squarespace website is dedicated to Elliott, my grand-nephew. There’s not much you can say about a new born. They’re cute and cuddly, and they need a whole boat load of time, energy, patience and love.
For sure Elliott chose the right parents for all of those needs. And I can confirm that Elliott has a very good set of lungs as well. Welcome to the world my dear boy.
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THANKSGIVING 2018
I'm writing this on November 11th, Remembrance Day here in Canada. Today marks the 100th anniversary of the ending of the first world war. Commonly referred to as the war to end all wars.
It seems appropriate to finally be getting around to posting a few Thanksgiving images from last months trip to Port Cunnington, Ontario just outside of Algonquin Park. Today should also be called Thanksgiving. Here's a thought, let's call every day Thanksgiving and hope we keep everyone in the moment and maybe prevent all the crazy world leaders from starting WWIII.
Over dim sum this morning we took a moment (a minute actually) to stand up and honour those that fought and made the ultimate sacrifice for their country. For the first time in my life the thought that we've learned nothing from the last 100 years seemed too real.
So today I'll give thanks again and again and again. And I will remember again and again and again.
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